New Year's Resolutions

In the spirit of the new year, many people make resolutions to better themselves and improve their lives, their health, their job etc.  I haven't done this in many years, because the resolutions usually involve doing things I don't actually want to do...otherwise I would have already done them.  Some people make some resolutions that just aren't realistic, others make resolutions that are just bad ideas (like starting a blog).  Listed here are some resolutions that just didn't work out:

- Memorize all character names from Game of Thrones book series

- Find out just how many bananas I would need to eat before the radiaton make me a superhero

- End every sentence with 'Amen'

- Be more racist

- Be really honest about peoples' pictures on social media, especially selfies and ugly babies.

- Vote for Rob Ford

- Go to Comic Con, yell out 'my favourite Star Trek character is Yoda!' for all to hear

- Give up caffeine, take up licking batteries instead

- Save money with do-it-yourself dentistry

- To make my image more hip at work, all coworkers will now be referred to as 'bros' and 'hoes'

- Send more texts when drunk

- Wear a Habs jersey

- Learn German by watching porn, use knowledge at work.

- Buy stock in Blackberry

- Post more inspirational things on Facebook, because people love that

- To seem more 'worldly', speak in a different accent every day

- Wear more ponchos 

- Accept a stress test from the scientologists 

- Facebook message every ex boyfriend I've ever had

- Watch every single Nicolas Cage movie

- Pitch tv show about a single woman living in New York City who works for a newspaper, because that's just really original

- Try to 'bring back' powdered wigs and pantaloons

- Join a couples dance class with your cat