When we were kids, we couldn't wait to grow up. We wanted to be big kids. When we were big kids, we wanted to be teenagers. When we were teenagers, we wanted to be adults. Now that we're adults, we want to turn time back and be young again. Where did the time go? I sometimes still think I'm young, that is, until I hang out with young people. Then I realize that I am getting older...I may not be ancient, but I'm not the young fresh flower I once was. There are some very clear signs from the universe that the abacus of your lifespan is notching ever over to one side.
- You are happier when people cancel plans with you than make plans
- You get the same joy from having clean laundry that you once did from new outfits
- Creaky knees
- You hate the music on the radio (unless you listen to oldies stations)
- You get upset at Forever 21 for selling crop tops with Nirvana, Clash and AC/DC on them because the kids today are too young to really appreciate those bands enough to deserve the tshirts.
- You feel weird when standing in Hot Topic
- Bad back!
- You watch the original Jurassic Park movie and agree with the lawyer.
- You remember when Adam Sandler was funny
- The athletes your age are all retiring.
- You'll pay the extra money for good shoes because you can't take the cute shoes that hurt your feet anymore
- You'll also pay extra for direct flights, bigger seats etc. when travelling because your body can't take the stress and discomfort anymore
-Hangovers last for days instead of hours
- The only reason a cute 21 year old guy comes up to you is to ask you directions
- Your parents become the children in the relationship
- You watch a political debate...sober....on purpose
- The big thing you're saving for is new towels
- The night ends at 10pm
- You'd rather hang out with your cat than 95% of the people you know
- You have no idea what Tinder is for
- You care how much fiber is in your diet
- Finding a good tasting low fat cheese can make your day
- More than 2 cups of coffee/tea makes you edgy
- You remember a time when people didn't get offended by absolutely everything
- You're no longer excited when friends get engaged because you know the hassle that will follow
- Mortgage payments
- You finally realize that nobody owes you anything in life
- Kraft Dinner is more a treat and less a nightly necessity
- You remember when The Simpsons was the best show on tv
- There are no high school photos of you on Facebook because cell phone cameras weren't a thing
- You genuinely forget how old you are when asked
- When you look at the 'Must Be Born Before This Date In' year to buy cigarettes...you're shocked at that year.
-McDonald's just doesn't taste as good anymore
-Teenagers are the worst thing on the planet
- Cat videos become far better than music videos
You know what they say...getting old sucks but the alternative is much worse.
White Girl Blogging
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Some notes on my beloved Toronto
I'm as close to being considered a 'world traveler' as Kim Kardashian is to being considered a scholar. I was born and raised in the city in which I still reside, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I am very Canadian... I love Tim Hortons, I watch hockey, I hold doors open for people, I speak French and I love poutine. I didn't start leaving Canada to visit other places until later in my 20's and more so now in my 30's (although I still maintain that my age is perpetually 24). The list of cities/countries outside of Canada to which I have been is very short, especially compared to most of my friends, many of whom have been on more trips than I have failed diets attempts. However, while my travels are limited and none can be considered exotic, each one has given me new appreciations and lamentations regarding the hometown to which I return at the end of each journey. So here I lay out some of the new perspectives, wishes, complaints and perhaps even ideas that I have brought back with me to Toronto, for Toronto.
The number one issue is the one I think all Torontonians would agree with...public transit. The TTC sucks the big one in so many ways when you compare our transit system on a global scale. New York City and London may have much larger populations than Toronto by 2, 3, maybe even 4 times over...but their transit systems outshine ours in exponents that can only be calculated by NASA. We have 3.5 subway lines for the largest population in Canada and a city that is building so many condos in the downtown core it's as if they have a hoarding problem. Only 2 of the lines are ever really used, because the only time the Sheppard line is ever used is when people without cars need to go to IKEA. The Scarborough "SRT" line isn't a subway....it's pretty much just a bus in a cave. Looking at a map of London's underground, it's so thorough and complex it's its own small city. If you don't live on Yonge Street or Bloor/Danforth, Toronto's subway is useless. Even if you do...do not bother trying to ride it at any given rush hour as the capacity is roughly 10% of the actual human traffic. To top it off, what's our big solution? Building a line nobody wants or will use in Scarborough....*slow clap* bravo. At least I can say that our subway cars are nicely air conditioned....lookin at you Rome metro! 40 degrees, jammed in like sardines and no air conditioning? Is Caligula back in charge?
History. Canadians don't have much of it, we're not even officially 150 years old yet while some European cities are so old they were built by cro-magnon man. Having recently visited the "Eternal City" aka Rome, Italy...you cannot help but develop an extra large sense of appreciation for history. Their prize ruins are exactly that, ruined pieces of once monumental buildings from an age long dead; ruined by barbarian invaders, pollution, nature and time. But they are still there. They are preserved, valued, kept up, prized and studied. They live modernly alongside history in a way that should be more of an example to other cities. I don't think Toronto has said 'no' to a request to tear down a beautiful old building...ever. Toronto doesn't blink an eye at the idea of tearing down something old and historic to throw up some ugly new condo building as long as the right amount of money changes hands. Walk along the river Tiber and look at the buildings along the water. Now walk along the waterfront of Lake Ontario and look at the sea of concrete and glass condos....makes you want to throw up in your mouth. I am all for progress and development in the city...please do tear down some of the ugly useless buildings and make them bigger and better...but if I see one more century old building that's as old as Toronto being torn down for some concrete tower...I'm moving to Barrie. (not really, that's gross). I realize I could also praise London and Edinburgh for their gorgeous old buildings...but Rome is the gold standard.
Food. This one I will say, each city has its strengths. Toronto has amazing variety of food, it's a great place to be a foodie because you can find any cuisine imaginable offered somewhere in the city. Rome...the quality of the ingredients is just unparalleled, it's all so fresh and nurtured that the food has to be super simple otherwise you lose the fresh tastes. I will dream of that buffalo mozzarella and prosciutto for the rest of my days. New York.,..American portion sizes are enough to solve world hunger. They give you enough food on one plate to keep you full for a week. Montreal, your poutine should have its own religion. London....umm...well....I approve of the high levels of tea availability. I'm not even including Edinburgh in this...you should be ashamed.
Public washrooms. I'm a woman...I need to pee frequently. Toronto is great for washrooms...if you need to go, you're probably within a 5 minute walk of a decent bathroom. London is also great, they have pay toilets but it's very cheap and just ensures that they are funded to be cleaned...one I went into even had a hair drier and a hair straightener....genius! New York...they were fairly frequent but pretty hepatitis-y. A lot of trying not to touch anything and always hover-pee. Montreal....I really don't know...I spent so much time so drunk that I don't know what I did or where I went. Rome...oh Rome....you bastards. Not only are there zero washrooms anywhere but the ones they do have are more like torture devices. Did people not pee in BC times? Did Michelangelo not need a potty break when painting the Sistine? Bah!
Art. Rome has the Sistine Chapel, works older than most civilizations and sculpture that would bring a blind man to his knees. London has some of the most beautiful treasures ever found from the world over (granted, most of them not created in England....*cough* Greek). Montreal's art exhibitions are always super impressive and hip. New York embodies art in so many ways outside of the staggering art museums that it's everywhere. Toronto....umm....we...don't match up. The AGO? Good god, the building itself looks like something a 2nd year architecture student sneezed out and the most impressive shows we get are Andy Warhol's 3rd cousin's uncle's sketchbook rejects. Our taste in art as a city on the whole seems to reflect in our huge buildings...flat, boring, unoriginal. We have small pockets of great stuff...but going to a museum or 'big' show in Toronto is just... exactly.
So those are my chosen 5 categories...there are a million other comparisons that could be made but I feel like these first few would be a good start to improving the prospects for my humble T-dot. Perhaps after my next planned destination (Paris) I will have more insight...if nothing else into the French-English rivalry that Toronto-Montreal can quasi join in on. So...how do I send this to John Tory to get a move on? He seems to be on Breakfast Television every other day...time to stalk Frankish!
The number one issue is the one I think all Torontonians would agree with...public transit. The TTC sucks the big one in so many ways when you compare our transit system on a global scale. New York City and London may have much larger populations than Toronto by 2, 3, maybe even 4 times over...but their transit systems outshine ours in exponents that can only be calculated by NASA. We have 3.5 subway lines for the largest population in Canada and a city that is building so many condos in the downtown core it's as if they have a hoarding problem. Only 2 of the lines are ever really used, because the only time the Sheppard line is ever used is when people without cars need to go to IKEA. The Scarborough "SRT" line isn't a subway....it's pretty much just a bus in a cave. Looking at a map of London's underground, it's so thorough and complex it's its own small city. If you don't live on Yonge Street or Bloor/Danforth, Toronto's subway is useless. Even if you do...do not bother trying to ride it at any given rush hour as the capacity is roughly 10% of the actual human traffic. To top it off, what's our big solution? Building a line nobody wants or will use in Scarborough....*slow clap* bravo. At least I can say that our subway cars are nicely air conditioned....lookin at you Rome metro! 40 degrees, jammed in like sardines and no air conditioning? Is Caligula back in charge?
History. Canadians don't have much of it, we're not even officially 150 years old yet while some European cities are so old they were built by cro-magnon man. Having recently visited the "Eternal City" aka Rome, Italy...you cannot help but develop an extra large sense of appreciation for history. Their prize ruins are exactly that, ruined pieces of once monumental buildings from an age long dead; ruined by barbarian invaders, pollution, nature and time. But they are still there. They are preserved, valued, kept up, prized and studied. They live modernly alongside history in a way that should be more of an example to other cities. I don't think Toronto has said 'no' to a request to tear down a beautiful old building...ever. Toronto doesn't blink an eye at the idea of tearing down something old and historic to throw up some ugly new condo building as long as the right amount of money changes hands. Walk along the river Tiber and look at the buildings along the water. Now walk along the waterfront of Lake Ontario and look at the sea of concrete and glass condos....makes you want to throw up in your mouth. I am all for progress and development in the city...please do tear down some of the ugly useless buildings and make them bigger and better...but if I see one more century old building that's as old as Toronto being torn down for some concrete tower...I'm moving to Barrie. (not really, that's gross). I realize I could also praise London and Edinburgh for their gorgeous old buildings...but Rome is the gold standard.
Food. This one I will say, each city has its strengths. Toronto has amazing variety of food, it's a great place to be a foodie because you can find any cuisine imaginable offered somewhere in the city. Rome...the quality of the ingredients is just unparalleled, it's all so fresh and nurtured that the food has to be super simple otherwise you lose the fresh tastes. I will dream of that buffalo mozzarella and prosciutto for the rest of my days. New York.,..American portion sizes are enough to solve world hunger. They give you enough food on one plate to keep you full for a week. Montreal, your poutine should have its own religion. London....umm...well....I approve of the high levels of tea availability. I'm not even including Edinburgh in this...you should be ashamed.
Public washrooms. I'm a woman...I need to pee frequently. Toronto is great for washrooms...if you need to go, you're probably within a 5 minute walk of a decent bathroom. London is also great, they have pay toilets but it's very cheap and just ensures that they are funded to be cleaned...one I went into even had a hair drier and a hair straightener....genius! New York...they were fairly frequent but pretty hepatitis-y. A lot of trying not to touch anything and always hover-pee. Montreal....I really don't know...I spent so much time so drunk that I don't know what I did or where I went. Rome...oh Rome....you bastards. Not only are there zero washrooms anywhere but the ones they do have are more like torture devices. Did people not pee in BC times? Did Michelangelo not need a potty break when painting the Sistine? Bah!
Art. Rome has the Sistine Chapel, works older than most civilizations and sculpture that would bring a blind man to his knees. London has some of the most beautiful treasures ever found from the world over (granted, most of them not created in England....*cough* Greek). Montreal's art exhibitions are always super impressive and hip. New York embodies art in so many ways outside of the staggering art museums that it's everywhere. Toronto....umm....we...don't match up. The AGO? Good god, the building itself looks like something a 2nd year architecture student sneezed out and the most impressive shows we get are Andy Warhol's 3rd cousin's uncle's sketchbook rejects. Our taste in art as a city on the whole seems to reflect in our huge buildings...flat, boring, unoriginal. We have small pockets of great stuff...but going to a museum or 'big' show in Toronto is just... exactly.
So those are my chosen 5 categories...there are a million other comparisons that could be made but I feel like these first few would be a good start to improving the prospects for my humble T-dot. Perhaps after my next planned destination (Paris) I will have more insight...if nothing else into the French-English rivalry that Toronto-Montreal can quasi join in on. So...how do I send this to John Tory to get a move on? He seems to be on Breakfast Television every other day...time to stalk Frankish!
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