There are some things in life that are just so glaringly obvious that you would assume that any troglodyte with half a brain cell would be able to figure it out. So, why do I see people doing these things on a nearly daily basis? These are not difficult concepts to grasp, most of them are along the same lines of common sense as "don't lick the sharp edge of the knife" and "getting hit by a speeding bus doesn't tickle". Yet, at least once a day, especially on my work commute, I observe at least one of these occurrences, and it is at times such as those that I wish that Darwin's theory of evolution hurrids up.
Here are some instances of things I just don't think should need to be explained:
When someone's wearing headphones, don't try to talk to them. Not only are they unable to physically hear you, 99.9% of the time, they put them on specifically so that you won't speak to them- earphones are the international symbol of "leave me the hell alone"
Don't drive into the middle of an intersection. You know you won't make it through, you're just being a dick. How much further have you gotten than if you'd waited and not ruined other peoples' drives? 5 feet?
Tipping badly will get you shitty service next time. I cannot believe the number of people I've been at a restaurant with who count the tip to the dime and think 10% is the height of generosity. Ok, be a cheapskate...but you don't get to complain when, the next time you're there, the waitstaff don't rush to serve you and your food maybe tastes a little funny.
Rain and snow makes the roads bad. Hi, welcome to Canada! It snows here, and it rains too. Learn to drive in it!! It's not like it only happens once every ten years, how do so many people forget the basics of road safety every single time?! Slow down but don't crawl, don't tailgate, and, if you're scared, don't drive at all.
Crazy people are crazy, don't get into it with them. I live downtown, there are a lot of mentally ill people around at all times; most of them are harmless people, some, however, start arguments and harass people. When this happens, walk away and remove yourself from the situation. Why do people start fighting with the crazy people? Then you look just as crazy! The man yelling at you thinks he just saw Jesus talking to Colonel Sanders- I don't think he's going to accept your logical reasoning of why he should get a job or that you'll hit him. Crazy be crazy, just walk away.
First come first serve. I got here first, so if you step in front of me, I will snatch your ass back to where it belongs by the roots of your hair. You aren't special, I wasn't saving a spot for you. If someone arrives before you, they go first. I don't care if it's the subway, the coffee line or the last train out of town- get in line.
Socks with sandals. No...just..no. The socks and sandals jokes have been around for enough years now that if you don't know that it's classified as a crime against humanity and violates everything that is holy and decent, then you're obviously too oblivious to be allowed to live on this planet. Leave. Go to Mars...make sure to pack all the socks and sandals you want. Don't even get me started on those toe-shoes either...worse than hell for those people.
