Newest vocabulary submissions to the OED

To date, nobody from the Oxford English dictionary (OED) has contacted me regarding my prior submissions to the dictionary...other than 2 restraining orders and 1 cease-and-desist.  This has not dampened my spirits or crushed the hopes that one day I will make it into the common vernacular, even if those language snobs refuse to acknowledge my advanced linguistic propensity! To put it simply...suck it word dweebs, these words are happening:

Decorbating (deck-orb-bait-ing) verb. To find a bit too much pleasure and obsession in decorating. Eg. "You spend way too much time and money decorbating in Pottery Barn, how many damn mason jars do we need?!"

Cock Blogging (Cok Blawg-ing) verb. To destroy a guy's chances with other women by posting online about his lack of size or performance in the bedroom. Eg. "I thought I was in with that cute new girl but my ex cock blogged me by posting about how bad I am."

Flamentation (flam-men-tay-shun) noun. To overact your regret or sadness over something to make yourself the center of attention. Eg. "Where is crazy aunt Mary?" "She's whaling her flamentations in front of the whole family about how nobody ever calls her."

A Confidence Boobst (boob-st) noun. The slight boost in self-confidence you get when you know you're not looking your best but you catch a guy looking down your top. "I was feeling bloated and having a fat day but when I caught Jim looking, I have to admit, it was a bit of a confidence boobst"

For the "I am not a feminist" people out there

"I am not a feminist"....you're right...because what you are...is a moron.

This backlash of "I am not a feminist" celebrities coming out declaring themselves as non-feminists is one small step into the pile of sh*t and one giant leap backwards for society.  It seems Kaley Cuoco has spent too much time playing a dumb blonde as she seems to be perpetually stuck on dumbass, so shocked that people weren't all on-side with her declaring herself not a feminist.

The term feminist developed a sullied meaning over time, much like other words and symbols that have very specific and powerful meanings, it's been blurred by incorrect interpretations and people associating them with what people who are against the idea attach to it.  The word feminist was misconstrued by people who were anti-feminism to mean things like 'man hater', 'bitter', 'ugly', etc. If you spend more than 0.003 seconds thinking about it, then you remember that the word is simply 'femina' and 'ism'....the belief in women.  not OF women...IN women.  Look the word up in any dictionary and show me where it says that they are bitter bitches who hate men and want to rule over everything.  It doesn't.  That's not what it means, it's only what people who don't believe in women's rights want you to think it means.

The movement against women has no valid reasoned argument against why women should not be equal- they simply don't want to lose their power.  So, without a real platform of fact and reason to stand on, they do what all villains do- they aim to cause dissension in the opposing force.  They won't have to worry about fighting the threat to their manhood if women are fighting amongst themselves.  It's the same mentality that caused tension when women wanted the vote- there was a campaign by women against women getting the vote because they were told that they would ruin it for everyone.

If you believe that women should be paid less for the same work, should have to fight twice as hard to win the same battles, shouldn't be represented equally in law, in society, in media and in life...then you are not a feminist.  However, if you do believe in any of the aforementioned ideals...you are a feminist.  Maybe you're not militant and marching in protests and signing petitions...burning bras or boycotting shaving your legs..but you're a feminist.

Embrace it.  Don't let the women haters take the power out of the word feminist.  Don't let them make it a dirty word.  If you bend to the notions they want you to have, then they've succeeded in pushing back the fight for equality.

And if you think for one second that a man can't be a feminist, then you're wrong. Men are as important to the cause as women.  It's not weakness, it's not 'gay', it's not being 'whipped'..it's just being a person who believes that another person deserves to be treated as they would want to be treated.  Terry Crews is a proud feminist, I dare you to tell him that to his face he's a wimp for believing in women's right, I'll give you the number of my dentist and a good plastic surgeon when it's over.

I am a woman.  I don't hate men.  I have never burned my bras.  I have never been on a protest march, written angry poetry or read Sylvia Plath.  I am, however, a feminist.  

Picking Up Chicks

I often hear from male single friends that it's very hard to hit on a woman because women are 'too stuck up'. There are many stories of good guys being turned down and not knowing where they went wrong when approaching a woman.  I've been asked for advice from guys who don't seem to know why women are so reluctant to take a risk with a charming suitor.

It wasn't until the other day when it was actually a man who summed it up for me...these men tend to look at the situation from only their own point of view.  These guys aren't seeing themselves as the woman is seeing them.

Guys, no matter your size, no matter your physical grandeur or lack thereof....the second you approach a woman for the first time you are a threat.  When we are out in public, we have our guard up against potential threats to our persons, it's just instinct.  The guard is lessened usually when we are in a place such as a bar or club as we are more likely to be open to meeting new people at those types of locations and there are pre-set parameters and social rules for it.

I don't care if you are 6'9, 400lbs of muscle or a 5'4 skinny wimp, the moment you approach me in public, my brain starts scanning you for potential threat. "What does he want?" "Does he have a visible weapon?" "What are my escape options if I am in danger?"....these are the first things that run through our head, so just be aware that that is where you are starting from.  Don't be put off that she isn't immediately smiling and curious about your charms...she's scanning you to see if you're about to stab her and if you're showing any freaky tendencies.

51% of Canadian women have been physically or sexually assaulted at some point in their life.  Do you really think we can afford to just assume you won't be that guy?  98% of sexual violence is committed by men in this country, so yes, it's different for us if a random man approaches us versus another woman.  Most women know their assailant prior to the assault, which means that chances are it was someone we thought we knew and/or could trust, so if that happened to us by someone we knew, maybe we are going to be a bit wary of someone we don't know.

I'm not saying don't hit on women or never approach women.  What I am saying is realize what is happening in her mind when you're approaching her.  Don't think it's her fault and that she's a snob because she didn't want to give you her personal information on approach.  You're taking a risk being rejected but she's viewing it as risking her personal safety.

Also, on a less sinister note....don't hit on waitresses, baristas or anyone who is at their place of work.  They are working, be respectful.  They're nice to you because they are paid to be nice to you.  They aren't flirting with you, they are hoping you will just be a good customer and then get on with their day.

The case that brought this up was my boyfriend told me about the radio show he listens to.  The female DJ received an email from a listener she's never met asking her on a date.  The email was supposedly funny and charming, but she declined him.  The two male DJs couldn't understand why she wouldn't give this guy a chance.  She explained that not only is this man a complete stranger, but that, as a public figure, she has had problems with threats against her and has had stalkers.  The male DJs still thought she was too uptight.  The more I think about it, the angrier it made me.  If she says no, she's an uptight bitch.  If she says yes and she's assaulted, then she was too eager and she should've known better than to go out with some guy she's never met.

All I'm saying is that, as a woman, I wish more men would understand the dynamic of approaching a stranger in public.  Even if your intentions are pure and good, just think about how the other person is observing the situation.