Today marks the 2 year anniversary of this blog
*crickets*
My bloggiversary may not exactly be the event of the year, but it did make me think of how many occasions there are without sufficient greeting card availability. So while I will forgive my readers (all 0.3 of you) for not sending me a card to celebrate this milestone, I will mark this monument of life with some of my ideas for cards that Hallmark just doesn't have covered yet:
"Congratulations on finally dumping the gf/bf I've always hated but never had the heart to tell you so"
"Happy Freedom from your cellular contract day!"- given to commemorate the last day of your Bell/Rogers/Telus contract- the day you are free from one evil to go get screwed the exact same way by one of the others in a viscous customer-f**king cycle.
"Congratulations on passing that tape worm!"
"I'm sorry I gave you the herp"
"My deepest condolences that your child grew up to be a douchebag"
"Congrats on having a hot sibling, can I come for dinner more often?"
"You Did It! You found your keys in your purse on the first try!"
"Happy one year anniversary of not using the word 'bro', keep it up!"
"Happy Birthday Kitty" - to be given to your cat on his/her bday (please note: yes, I did wish my cat a happy birthday AND bought her a present).
"Thank you for always being the fat friend"
"My sincerest apologies for calling your baby ugly, I didn't mean for you to hear that"
"Way to get through high school without getting knocked up!"
"My deepest sympathies on finding out you're over 40 and pregnant"
"Let's celebrate! Our husbands weren't on the Ashley Madison subscribers list!"
"Happy anniversary of losing your virginity to some random dude!"
"Congratulations that your celebrity crush is getting a divorce!"
"Thank you for not telling my parents all the awful stuff we did in high school"
"Happy good hair day!"
"Congratulations on finally stopping dressing like a two-dollar hooker"
"You're getting married! Why?!"
" I'm sorry that you accidentally sexted your mom/dad"
"Congrats! You stopped f**king swearing!"
White Girl Blogging
Thursday, 20 August 2015
Wednesday, 22 July 2015
Some notes on my beloved Toronto
I'm as close to being considered a 'world traveler' as Kim Kardashian is to being considered a scholar. I was born and raised in the city in which I still reside, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I am very Canadian... I love Tim Hortons, I watch hockey, I hold doors open for people, I speak French and I love poutine. I didn't start leaving Canada to visit other places until later in my 20's and more so now in my 30's (although I still maintain that my age is perpetually 24). The list of cities/countries outside of Canada to which I have been is very short, especially compared to most of my friends, many of whom have been on more trips than I have failed diets attempts. However, while my travels are limited and none can be considered exotic, each one has given me new appreciations and lamentations regarding the hometown to which I return at the end of each journey. So here I lay out some of the new perspectives, wishes, complaints and perhaps even ideas that I have brought back with me to Toronto, for Toronto.
The number one issue is the one I think all Torontonians would agree with...public transit. The TTC sucks the big one in so many ways when you compare our transit system on a global scale. New York City and London may have much larger populations than Toronto by 2, 3, maybe even 4 times over...but their transit systems outshine ours in exponents that can only be calculated by NASA. We have 3.5 subway lines for the largest population in Canada and a city that is building so many condos in the downtown core it's as if they have a hoarding problem. Only 2 of the lines are ever really used, because the only time the Sheppard line is ever used is when people without cars need to go to IKEA. The Scarborough "SRT" line isn't a subway....it's pretty much just a bus in a cave. Looking at a map of London's underground, it's so thorough and complex it's its own small city. If you don't live on Yonge Street or Bloor/Danforth, Toronto's subway is useless. Even if you do...do not bother trying to ride it at any given rush hour as the capacity is roughly 10% of the actual human traffic. To top it off, what's our big solution? Building a line nobody wants or will use in Scarborough....*slow clap* bravo. At least I can say that our subway cars are nicely air conditioned....lookin at you Rome metro! 40 degrees, jammed in like sardines and no air conditioning? Is Caligula back in charge?
History. Canadians don't have much of it, we're not even officially 150 years old yet while some European cities are so old they were built by cro-magnon man. Having recently visited the "Eternal City" aka Rome, Italy...you cannot help but develop an extra large sense of appreciation for history. Their prize ruins are exactly that, ruined pieces of once monumental buildings from an age long dead; ruined by barbarian invaders, pollution, nature and time. But they are still there. They are preserved, valued, kept up, prized and studied. They live modernly alongside history in a way that should be more of an example to other cities. I don't think Toronto has said 'no' to a request to tear down a beautiful old building...ever. Toronto doesn't blink an eye at the idea of tearing down something old and historic to throw up some ugly new condo building as long as the right amount of money changes hands. Walk along the river Tiber and look at the buildings along the water. Now walk along the waterfront of Lake Ontario and look at the sea of concrete and glass condos....makes you want to throw up in your mouth. I am all for progress and development in the city...please do tear down some of the ugly useless buildings and make them bigger and better...but if I see one more century old building that's as old as Toronto being torn down for some concrete tower...I'm moving to Barrie. (not really, that's gross). I realize I could also praise London and Edinburgh for their gorgeous old buildings...but Rome is the gold standard.
Food. This one I will say, each city has its strengths. Toronto has amazing variety of food, it's a great place to be a foodie because you can find any cuisine imaginable offered somewhere in the city. Rome...the quality of the ingredients is just unparalleled, it's all so fresh and nurtured that the food has to be super simple otherwise you lose the fresh tastes. I will dream of that buffalo mozzarella and prosciutto for the rest of my days. New York.,..American portion sizes are enough to solve world hunger. They give you enough food on one plate to keep you full for a week. Montreal, your poutine should have its own religion. London....umm...well....I approve of the high levels of tea availability. I'm not even including Edinburgh in this...you should be ashamed.
Public washrooms. I'm a woman...I need to pee frequently. Toronto is great for washrooms...if you need to go, you're probably within a 5 minute walk of a decent bathroom. London is also great, they have pay toilets but it's very cheap and just ensures that they are funded to be cleaned...one I went into even had a hair drier and a hair straightener....genius! New York...they were fairly frequent but pretty hepatitis-y. A lot of trying not to touch anything and always hover-pee. Montreal....I really don't know...I spent so much time so drunk that I don't know what I did or where I went. Rome...oh Rome....you bastards. Not only are there zero washrooms anywhere but the ones they do have are more like torture devices. Did people not pee in BC times? Did Michelangelo not need a potty break when painting the Sistine? Bah!
Art. Rome has the Sistine Chapel, works older than most civilizations and sculpture that would bring a blind man to his knees. London has some of the most beautiful treasures ever found from the world over (granted, most of them not created in England....*cough* Greek). Montreal's art exhibitions are always super impressive and hip. New York embodies art in so many ways outside of the staggering art museums that it's everywhere. Toronto....umm....we...don't match up. The AGO? Good god, the building itself looks like something a 2nd year architecture student sneezed out and the most impressive shows we get are Andy Warhol's 3rd cousin's uncle's sketchbook rejects. Our taste in art as a city on the whole seems to reflect in our huge buildings...flat, boring, unoriginal. We have small pockets of great stuff...but going to a museum or 'big' show in Toronto is just... exactly.
So those are my chosen 5 categories...there are a million other comparisons that could be made but I feel like these first few would be a good start to improving the prospects for my humble T-dot. Perhaps after my next planned destination (Paris) I will have more insight...if nothing else into the French-English rivalry that Toronto-Montreal can quasi join in on. So...how do I send this to John Tory to get a move on? He seems to be on Breakfast Television every other day...time to stalk Frankish!
The number one issue is the one I think all Torontonians would agree with...public transit. The TTC sucks the big one in so many ways when you compare our transit system on a global scale. New York City and London may have much larger populations than Toronto by 2, 3, maybe even 4 times over...but their transit systems outshine ours in exponents that can only be calculated by NASA. We have 3.5 subway lines for the largest population in Canada and a city that is building so many condos in the downtown core it's as if they have a hoarding problem. Only 2 of the lines are ever really used, because the only time the Sheppard line is ever used is when people without cars need to go to IKEA. The Scarborough "SRT" line isn't a subway....it's pretty much just a bus in a cave. Looking at a map of London's underground, it's so thorough and complex it's its own small city. If you don't live on Yonge Street or Bloor/Danforth, Toronto's subway is useless. Even if you do...do not bother trying to ride it at any given rush hour as the capacity is roughly 10% of the actual human traffic. To top it off, what's our big solution? Building a line nobody wants or will use in Scarborough....*slow clap* bravo. At least I can say that our subway cars are nicely air conditioned....lookin at you Rome metro! 40 degrees, jammed in like sardines and no air conditioning? Is Caligula back in charge?
History. Canadians don't have much of it, we're not even officially 150 years old yet while some European cities are so old they were built by cro-magnon man. Having recently visited the "Eternal City" aka Rome, Italy...you cannot help but develop an extra large sense of appreciation for history. Their prize ruins are exactly that, ruined pieces of once monumental buildings from an age long dead; ruined by barbarian invaders, pollution, nature and time. But they are still there. They are preserved, valued, kept up, prized and studied. They live modernly alongside history in a way that should be more of an example to other cities. I don't think Toronto has said 'no' to a request to tear down a beautiful old building...ever. Toronto doesn't blink an eye at the idea of tearing down something old and historic to throw up some ugly new condo building as long as the right amount of money changes hands. Walk along the river Tiber and look at the buildings along the water. Now walk along the waterfront of Lake Ontario and look at the sea of concrete and glass condos....makes you want to throw up in your mouth. I am all for progress and development in the city...please do tear down some of the ugly useless buildings and make them bigger and better...but if I see one more century old building that's as old as Toronto being torn down for some concrete tower...I'm moving to Barrie. (not really, that's gross). I realize I could also praise London and Edinburgh for their gorgeous old buildings...but Rome is the gold standard.
Food. This one I will say, each city has its strengths. Toronto has amazing variety of food, it's a great place to be a foodie because you can find any cuisine imaginable offered somewhere in the city. Rome...the quality of the ingredients is just unparalleled, it's all so fresh and nurtured that the food has to be super simple otherwise you lose the fresh tastes. I will dream of that buffalo mozzarella and prosciutto for the rest of my days. New York.,..American portion sizes are enough to solve world hunger. They give you enough food on one plate to keep you full for a week. Montreal, your poutine should have its own religion. London....umm...well....I approve of the high levels of tea availability. I'm not even including Edinburgh in this...you should be ashamed.
Public washrooms. I'm a woman...I need to pee frequently. Toronto is great for washrooms...if you need to go, you're probably within a 5 minute walk of a decent bathroom. London is also great, they have pay toilets but it's very cheap and just ensures that they are funded to be cleaned...one I went into even had a hair drier and a hair straightener....genius! New York...they were fairly frequent but pretty hepatitis-y. A lot of trying not to touch anything and always hover-pee. Montreal....I really don't know...I spent so much time so drunk that I don't know what I did or where I went. Rome...oh Rome....you bastards. Not only are there zero washrooms anywhere but the ones they do have are more like torture devices. Did people not pee in BC times? Did Michelangelo not need a potty break when painting the Sistine? Bah!
Art. Rome has the Sistine Chapel, works older than most civilizations and sculpture that would bring a blind man to his knees. London has some of the most beautiful treasures ever found from the world over (granted, most of them not created in England....*cough* Greek). Montreal's art exhibitions are always super impressive and hip. New York embodies art in so many ways outside of the staggering art museums that it's everywhere. Toronto....umm....we...don't match up. The AGO? Good god, the building itself looks like something a 2nd year architecture student sneezed out and the most impressive shows we get are Andy Warhol's 3rd cousin's uncle's sketchbook rejects. Our taste in art as a city on the whole seems to reflect in our huge buildings...flat, boring, unoriginal. We have small pockets of great stuff...but going to a museum or 'big' show in Toronto is just... exactly.
So those are my chosen 5 categories...there are a million other comparisons that could be made but I feel like these first few would be a good start to improving the prospects for my humble T-dot. Perhaps after my next planned destination (Paris) I will have more insight...if nothing else into the French-English rivalry that Toronto-Montreal can quasi join in on. So...how do I send this to John Tory to get a move on? He seems to be on Breakfast Television every other day...time to stalk Frankish!
Monday, 15 June 2015
Newest vocabulary submissions to the OED
To date, nobody from the Oxford English dictionary (OED) has contacted me regarding my prior submissions to the dictionary...other than 2 restraining orders and 1 cease-and-desist. This has not dampened my spirits or crushed the hopes that one day I will make it into the common vernacular, even if those language snobs refuse to acknowledge my advanced linguistic propensity! To put it simply...suck it word dweebs, these words are happening:
Decorbating (deck-orb-bait-ing) verb. To find a bit too much pleasure and obsession in decorating. Eg. "You spend way too much time and money decorbating in Pottery Barn, how many damn mason jars do we need?!"
Cock Blogging (Cok Blawg-ing) verb. To destroy a guy's chances with other women by posting online about his lack of size or performance in the bedroom. Eg. "I thought I was in with that cute new girl but my ex cock blogged me by posting about how bad I am."
Flamentation (flam-men-tay-shun) noun. To overact your regret or sadness over something to make yourself the center of attention. Eg. "Where is crazy aunt Mary?" "She's whaling her flamentations in front of the whole family about how nobody ever calls her."
A Confidence Boobst (boob-st) noun. The slight boost in self-confidence you get when you know you're not looking your best but you catch a guy looking down your top. "I was feeling bloated and having a fat day but when I caught Jim looking, I have to admit, it was a bit of a confidence boobst"
Tuesday, 9 June 2015
For the "I am not a feminist" people out there
"I am not a feminist"....you're right...because what you are...is a moron.
This backlash of "I am not a feminist" celebrities coming out declaring themselves as non-feminists is one small step into the pile of sh*t and one giant leap backwards for society. It seems Kaley Cuoco has spent too much time playing a dumb blonde as she seems to be perpetually stuck on dumbass, so shocked that people weren't all on-side with her declaring herself not a feminist.
The term feminist developed a sullied meaning over time, much like other words and symbols that have very specific and powerful meanings, it's been blurred by incorrect interpretations and people associating them with what people who are against the idea attach to it. The word feminist was misconstrued by people who were anti-feminism to mean things like 'man hater', 'bitter', 'ugly', etc. If you spend more than 0.003 seconds thinking about it, then you remember that the word is simply 'femina' and 'ism'....the belief in women. not OF women...IN women. Look the word up in any dictionary and show me where it says that they are bitter bitches who hate men and want to rule over everything. It doesn't. That's not what it means, it's only what people who don't believe in women's rights want you to think it means.
The movement against women has no valid reasoned argument against why women should not be equal- they simply don't want to lose their power. So, without a real platform of fact and reason to stand on, they do what all villains do- they aim to cause dissension in the opposing force. They won't have to worry about fighting the threat to their manhood if women are fighting amongst themselves. It's the same mentality that caused tension when women wanted the vote- there was a campaign by women against women getting the vote because they were told that they would ruin it for everyone.
If you believe that women should be paid less for the same work, should have to fight twice as hard to win the same battles, shouldn't be represented equally in law, in society, in media and in life...then you are not a feminist. However, if you do believe in any of the aforementioned ideals...you are a feminist. Maybe you're not militant and marching in protests and signing petitions...burning bras or boycotting shaving your legs..but you're a feminist.
Embrace it. Don't let the women haters take the power out of the word feminist. Don't let them make it a dirty word. If you bend to the notions they want you to have, then they've succeeded in pushing back the fight for equality.
This backlash of "I am not a feminist" celebrities coming out declaring themselves as non-feminists is one small step into the pile of sh*t and one giant leap backwards for society. It seems Kaley Cuoco has spent too much time playing a dumb blonde as she seems to be perpetually stuck on dumbass, so shocked that people weren't all on-side with her declaring herself not a feminist.
The term feminist developed a sullied meaning over time, much like other words and symbols that have very specific and powerful meanings, it's been blurred by incorrect interpretations and people associating them with what people who are against the idea attach to it. The word feminist was misconstrued by people who were anti-feminism to mean things like 'man hater', 'bitter', 'ugly', etc. If you spend more than 0.003 seconds thinking about it, then you remember that the word is simply 'femina' and 'ism'....the belief in women. not OF women...IN women. Look the word up in any dictionary and show me where it says that they are bitter bitches who hate men and want to rule over everything. It doesn't. That's not what it means, it's only what people who don't believe in women's rights want you to think it means.
The movement against women has no valid reasoned argument against why women should not be equal- they simply don't want to lose their power. So, without a real platform of fact and reason to stand on, they do what all villains do- they aim to cause dissension in the opposing force. They won't have to worry about fighting the threat to their manhood if women are fighting amongst themselves. It's the same mentality that caused tension when women wanted the vote- there was a campaign by women against women getting the vote because they were told that they would ruin it for everyone.
If you believe that women should be paid less for the same work, should have to fight twice as hard to win the same battles, shouldn't be represented equally in law, in society, in media and in life...then you are not a feminist. However, if you do believe in any of the aforementioned ideals...you are a feminist. Maybe you're not militant and marching in protests and signing petitions...burning bras or boycotting shaving your legs..but you're a feminist.
Embrace it. Don't let the women haters take the power out of the word feminist. Don't let them make it a dirty word. If you bend to the notions they want you to have, then they've succeeded in pushing back the fight for equality.
And if you think for one second that a man can't be a feminist, then you're wrong. Men are as important to the cause as women. It's not weakness, it's not 'gay', it's not being 'whipped'..it's just being a person who believes that another person deserves to be treated as they would want to be treated. Terry Crews is a proud feminist, I dare you to tell him that to his face he's a wimp for believing in women's right, I'll give you the number of my dentist and a good plastic surgeon when it's over.
I am a woman. I don't hate men. I have never burned my bras. I have never been on a protest march, written angry poetry or read Sylvia Plath. I am, however, a feminist.
Friday, 5 June 2015
Picking Up Chicks
I often hear from male single friends that it's very hard to hit on a woman because women are 'too stuck up'. There are many stories of good guys being turned down and not knowing where they went wrong when approaching a woman. I've been asked for advice from guys who don't seem to know why women are so reluctant to take a risk with a charming suitor.
It wasn't until the other day when it was actually a man who summed it up for me...these men tend to look at the situation from only their own point of view. These guys aren't seeing themselves as the woman is seeing them.
Guys, no matter your size, no matter your physical grandeur or lack thereof....the second you approach a woman for the first time you are a threat. When we are out in public, we have our guard up against potential threats to our persons, it's just instinct. The guard is lessened usually when we are in a place such as a bar or club as we are more likely to be open to meeting new people at those types of locations and there are pre-set parameters and social rules for it.
I don't care if you are 6'9, 400lbs of muscle or a 5'4 skinny wimp, the moment you approach me in public, my brain starts scanning you for potential threat. "What does he want?" "Does he have a visible weapon?" "What are my escape options if I am in danger?"....these are the first things that run through our head, so just be aware that that is where you are starting from. Don't be put off that she isn't immediately smiling and curious about your charms...she's scanning you to see if you're about to stab her and if you're showing any freaky tendencies.
51% of Canadian women have been physically or sexually assaulted at some point in their life. Do you really think we can afford to just assume you won't be that guy? 98% of sexual violence is committed by men in this country, so yes, it's different for us if a random man approaches us versus another woman. Most women know their assailant prior to the assault, which means that chances are it was someone we thought we knew and/or could trust, so if that happened to us by someone we knew, maybe we are going to be a bit wary of someone we don't know.
I'm not saying don't hit on women or never approach women. What I am saying is realize what is happening in her mind when you're approaching her. Don't think it's her fault and that she's a snob because she didn't want to give you her personal information on approach. You're taking a risk being rejected but she's viewing it as risking her personal safety.
Also, on a less sinister note....don't hit on waitresses, baristas or anyone who is at their place of work. They are working, be respectful. They're nice to you because they are paid to be nice to you. They aren't flirting with you, they are hoping you will just be a good customer and then get on with their day.
The case that brought this up was my boyfriend told me about the radio show he listens to. The female DJ received an email from a listener she's never met asking her on a date. The email was supposedly funny and charming, but she declined him. The two male DJs couldn't understand why she wouldn't give this guy a chance. She explained that not only is this man a complete stranger, but that, as a public figure, she has had problems with threats against her and has had stalkers. The male DJs still thought she was too uptight. The more I think about it, the angrier it made me. If she says no, she's an uptight bitch. If she says yes and she's assaulted, then she was too eager and she should've known better than to go out with some guy she's never met.
All I'm saying is that, as a woman, I wish more men would understand the dynamic of approaching a stranger in public. Even if your intentions are pure and good, just think about how the other person is observing the situation.
It wasn't until the other day when it was actually a man who summed it up for me...these men tend to look at the situation from only their own point of view. These guys aren't seeing themselves as the woman is seeing them.
Guys, no matter your size, no matter your physical grandeur or lack thereof....the second you approach a woman for the first time you are a threat. When we are out in public, we have our guard up against potential threats to our persons, it's just instinct. The guard is lessened usually when we are in a place such as a bar or club as we are more likely to be open to meeting new people at those types of locations and there are pre-set parameters and social rules for it.
I don't care if you are 6'9, 400lbs of muscle or a 5'4 skinny wimp, the moment you approach me in public, my brain starts scanning you for potential threat. "What does he want?" "Does he have a visible weapon?" "What are my escape options if I am in danger?"....these are the first things that run through our head, so just be aware that that is where you are starting from. Don't be put off that she isn't immediately smiling and curious about your charms...she's scanning you to see if you're about to stab her and if you're showing any freaky tendencies.
51% of Canadian women have been physically or sexually assaulted at some point in their life. Do you really think we can afford to just assume you won't be that guy? 98% of sexual violence is committed by men in this country, so yes, it's different for us if a random man approaches us versus another woman. Most women know their assailant prior to the assault, which means that chances are it was someone we thought we knew and/or could trust, so if that happened to us by someone we knew, maybe we are going to be a bit wary of someone we don't know.
I'm not saying don't hit on women or never approach women. What I am saying is realize what is happening in her mind when you're approaching her. Don't think it's her fault and that she's a snob because she didn't want to give you her personal information on approach. You're taking a risk being rejected but she's viewing it as risking her personal safety.
Also, on a less sinister note....don't hit on waitresses, baristas or anyone who is at their place of work. They are working, be respectful. They're nice to you because they are paid to be nice to you. They aren't flirting with you, they are hoping you will just be a good customer and then get on with their day.
The case that brought this up was my boyfriend told me about the radio show he listens to. The female DJ received an email from a listener she's never met asking her on a date. The email was supposedly funny and charming, but she declined him. The two male DJs couldn't understand why she wouldn't give this guy a chance. She explained that not only is this man a complete stranger, but that, as a public figure, she has had problems with threats against her and has had stalkers. The male DJs still thought she was too uptight. The more I think about it, the angrier it made me. If she says no, she's an uptight bitch. If she says yes and she's assaulted, then she was too eager and she should've known better than to go out with some guy she's never met.
All I'm saying is that, as a woman, I wish more men would understand the dynamic of approaching a stranger in public. Even if your intentions are pure and good, just think about how the other person is observing the situation.
Friday, 22 May 2015
Bad responses to pregnancy announcements
A lot of my friends are having babies...surprisingly most of them are doing it on purpose. I am not ready for this next step in life...and I think it's showing in my responses when people are telling me that they are expecting a baby. Here, my friends, is a list of things that you shouldn't say when someone tells you that they are pregnant:
- Why?
- I'm sorry to hear that
- Whose is it?
- You're not going to name it something stupid like your parents did right?
- I hope it looks like your sister
- I thought you'd just gotten fatter
- Dibs!
- hahahahahahahaha!
- What if it's ugly?
- I'll still be your favourite though, right?
- So I guess you won't be drinking that bottle of wine I got you for your birthday...can I have it back?
- I hear pregnancy affects your sex life...how old is your husband's secretary?
- Lame!
- I didn't think you could get pregnant after all those scares in freshman year....
- Fine, but when you come over, the baby stays in the car
- Bet it's gonna be trippy finally feeling something come out of there for once
- Keepin it?
- By the time they're old enough to have kids of their own, humans will have killed the planet
- You're raising it Klingon right?
- Say goodbye to your good looks!
So....this may be why I don't get invited to a lot of baby showers...or because I got drunk and ordered strippers at the last one...
Either way...
- Why?
- I'm sorry to hear that
- Whose is it?
- You're not going to name it something stupid like your parents did right?
- I hope it looks like your sister
- I thought you'd just gotten fatter
- Dibs!
- hahahahahahahaha!
- What if it's ugly?
- I'll still be your favourite though, right?
- So I guess you won't be drinking that bottle of wine I got you for your birthday...can I have it back?
- I hear pregnancy affects your sex life...how old is your husband's secretary?
- Lame!
- I didn't think you could get pregnant after all those scares in freshman year....
- Fine, but when you come over, the baby stays in the car
- Bet it's gonna be trippy finally feeling something come out of there for once
- Keepin it?
- By the time they're old enough to have kids of their own, humans will have killed the planet
- You're raising it Klingon right?
- Say goodbye to your good looks!
So....this may be why I don't get invited to a lot of baby showers...or because I got drunk and ordered strippers at the last one...
Either way...
Thursday, 7 May 2015
A Complaint about Complainers
Wah wah wah....that's all we ever hear anymore. No matter what you do or what you say, someone complains. Everyone has something to complain about. Have you ever noticed though, that the people who complain the most are often the people who DO the least about it? Stop it. Grow up. Take responsibility. Take action.
People who whine about the government but don't vote. If you didn't care enough to make your voice heard when you were asked, don't whine like you care afterwards. The idea of democratic elections is to represent the people, so how can you then complain that the person in power isn't representing your views when you didn't even represent your own views?? Even if your candidate doesn't win, you still made your voice heard and count, sometimes one vote can make a difference. If you don't make your choice, you don't get to complain about the result, end of story.
People who complain about not being fit when they're eating an entire bag of chips. I complain about being fat a lot...but there is a difference is being upset about the result or being upset with yourself for not doing what you know you should. I used to complain about being fat but then scarf down a bag of chips and a 6-pack of beer and still wonder why the pounds weren't coming off. Nowadays I actually try, I try to eat right and I exercise...so when I complain, it's about the disappointment in myself, not that I'm owed anything. If you are actively trying to get fit and are struggling, go ahead and complain! It's hard work! But if you spend every day sitting on your ass on the couch eating nachos and drinking milkshakes....you don't get to complain until you get moving.
People who have everything done for them but complain about how it's done. This includes everything from kids complaining about how their mom does their laundry or you don't like how your spouse cleans the house. If someone is doing something for you, be grateful! If you really hate how it's done, do it yourself. Ok, this doesn't apply to surgeons, mechanics and other trained specialistz...in that case just find another one. But really, if you don't like the fabric softener I use, do your own laundry. If you don't like the hotels I booked, you plan the trip.
Anything teenagers complain about. Shut up. You know nothing about anything. You have no real world experience, you don't have to support yourself, nobody relies on you and you live in a selfish bubble. You have nothing to complain about that won't be over in 4-5 years tops.
People who complain about dating but who don't try. "It's so hard to meet someone"...are you trying online? No. Are you going out to social events 'No'....are you open to meeting different kinds of people "No, he/she has to look like Brad Pitt/Kim Kardashian and be perfect or I'm out". Ok...dating can suck sometimes, I concede that. My point is that most people don't really try. They go on 2 online dates and then can't understand why they haven't met their soul-mate. Or they look like an Orc but refuse to date anyone who doesn't look like a Calvin Klein model. Be open, be available, be someone you would want to date.
People who complain about the new sex-ed in Ontario. Please get your super conservative moron faces off of my news feed. Kids have always had sex-ed but it's so behind the time that what is currently being taught is barely relevant anymore. They will learn it from their friends and online...wouldn't you rather they have a decently built foundation of knowledge first? Are you really going to explain sexting to them? I doubt it.
People who complain about their job but work there for 30 years. Why? You spend a large chunk of your life at work, don't you want to be happy? Look for something better. Go back to school. Start some new initiatives to make it more enjoyable. Sitting there and being a miserable git isn't going to make the clock tick any faster or the job more enjoyable. After a certain amount of time of not doing anything about the problem...the problem becomes your own fault.
Nobody likes a whiner. If you have a problem, deal with it. If you can't fix it, at least do what you can to make it better. Or, at least have the decency to hide your misery behind alcoholism and leave the rest of us out of it. "Do you know who cares even less about your problems than you do?....Everybody".
If you're working at it, come complain to me all you want, you've earned it. If you are complaining because you think the world owes you something...I will personally slap you back to the Dark Ages.
People who whine about the government but don't vote. If you didn't care enough to make your voice heard when you were asked, don't whine like you care afterwards. The idea of democratic elections is to represent the people, so how can you then complain that the person in power isn't representing your views when you didn't even represent your own views?? Even if your candidate doesn't win, you still made your voice heard and count, sometimes one vote can make a difference. If you don't make your choice, you don't get to complain about the result, end of story.
People who complain about not being fit when they're eating an entire bag of chips. I complain about being fat a lot...but there is a difference is being upset about the result or being upset with yourself for not doing what you know you should. I used to complain about being fat but then scarf down a bag of chips and a 6-pack of beer and still wonder why the pounds weren't coming off. Nowadays I actually try, I try to eat right and I exercise...so when I complain, it's about the disappointment in myself, not that I'm owed anything. If you are actively trying to get fit and are struggling, go ahead and complain! It's hard work! But if you spend every day sitting on your ass on the couch eating nachos and drinking milkshakes....you don't get to complain until you get moving.
People who have everything done for them but complain about how it's done. This includes everything from kids complaining about how their mom does their laundry or you don't like how your spouse cleans the house. If someone is doing something for you, be grateful! If you really hate how it's done, do it yourself. Ok, this doesn't apply to surgeons, mechanics and other trained specialistz...in that case just find another one. But really, if you don't like the fabric softener I use, do your own laundry. If you don't like the hotels I booked, you plan the trip.
Anything teenagers complain about. Shut up. You know nothing about anything. You have no real world experience, you don't have to support yourself, nobody relies on you and you live in a selfish bubble. You have nothing to complain about that won't be over in 4-5 years tops.
People who complain about dating but who don't try. "It's so hard to meet someone"...are you trying online? No. Are you going out to social events 'No'....are you open to meeting different kinds of people "No, he/she has to look like Brad Pitt/Kim Kardashian and be perfect or I'm out". Ok...dating can suck sometimes, I concede that. My point is that most people don't really try. They go on 2 online dates and then can't understand why they haven't met their soul-mate. Or they look like an Orc but refuse to date anyone who doesn't look like a Calvin Klein model. Be open, be available, be someone you would want to date.
People who complain about the new sex-ed in Ontario. Please get your super conservative moron faces off of my news feed. Kids have always had sex-ed but it's so behind the time that what is currently being taught is barely relevant anymore. They will learn it from their friends and online...wouldn't you rather they have a decently built foundation of knowledge first? Are you really going to explain sexting to them? I doubt it.
People who complain about their job but work there for 30 years. Why? You spend a large chunk of your life at work, don't you want to be happy? Look for something better. Go back to school. Start some new initiatives to make it more enjoyable. Sitting there and being a miserable git isn't going to make the clock tick any faster or the job more enjoyable. After a certain amount of time of not doing anything about the problem...the problem becomes your own fault.
Nobody likes a whiner. If you have a problem, deal with it. If you can't fix it, at least do what you can to make it better. Or, at least have the decency to hide your misery behind alcoholism and leave the rest of us out of it. "Do you know who cares even less about your problems than you do?....Everybody".
If you're working at it, come complain to me all you want, you've earned it. If you are complaining because you think the world owes you something...I will personally slap you back to the Dark Ages.
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