Online Dating- Why you should get online.

 As humans have evolved, so have our means of meeting our mates and life partners; from clubbing a potential mate over the head and dragging her to your cave, to having your father choose his best business partner and from box socials to seedy bar scenes, it has never been easy to meet that special someone.

These days, there is a method of meeting the opposite sex which is still relatively new and very unique- online dating.

The fact is that, if you're looking to meet someone, online dating is where the single people are these days, so those of you who look down your nose at it are encouraged to get off of your lonely high horses and get with the times.  According to a well-known 2013 study, roughly a third of marriages in the US stemmed from people meeting through online dating.  Yes, this study was funded by eHarmony but just by talking to various couples that you know, the 30% range certainly doesn't seem outlandish.

The stigma of online dating seems to finally be dying out as more and more people who first turned their noses up at it are realizing its benefits, especially when compared to the hassles presented by the other, more 'traditional' methods of meeting members of the opposite sex.  The bar and club scenes are like trying to find a diamond in an black cave- it's dark, there's a lot of groping around, you feel unsafe, and generally, whatever you end up taking out of it turns out to be a lump of coal.  Trying to meet someone through friends is a disaster waiting to happen, because you are not only risking making an awkward situation for your friend but you're risking your friendship from day one.  Also, if your friends are like mine, I wouldn't trust them to pick my date...I pulled too many horrible pranks on them in the past to trust that they won't use this as revenge.  As for my parents choosing my partner...I wouldn't trust them to pick out a place for lunch.

Like anything in life, there are pros and cons to online dating versus meeting in person, some examples are:

Pro: You know something about the person before wasting time chatting up someone you realize you have nothing in common with.

Con: Those pictures are often quite misleading.

Pro:  You can narrow down your search frames to fit your type

Con: There are some real creeps...and because it's not in person, they feel there are no rules for conduct.

Pro: As long as you aren't silly and give out too much information, your safety is in your control.

Con: Seeing an ex on the same site as you.....awkward!

  I could go on and on as everything has many pros and cons, however, being a veteran of the online dating sites, I truly believe that the pros outweigh the cons. Online dating is really just playing the odds in the dating game.  By using a dating site, you can assume with reasonable confidence, that the people you are meeting are also single.  There is nothing worse than meeting a great guy/girl at the bar and feeling that connection just in time for their wife/husband to walk over.  You can also tell if this person is from the area or not (because we've all met the guy who is 'just here for the weekend').  Even if their written profile is not exactly 'stellar', it's not that hard to get a sense of a person from what they write, i.e. sarcastic, mushy, aggressive, not enough info, arrogant etc.  As for the dreaded profile picture, this is a gamble with online dating.  There are ways to try to discern if the photo is genuine or not such as asking for more photos, chatting through live-video (such as Skype) before meeting in person, or old fashioned online stalking etc, but this is probably the biggest risk you'll be taking. 

The other argument I do hear (mostly from women) is that it isn't 'safe' to meet a stranger from the internet.  Well, this is true for 14 year old girls and children...but you're an adult and as long as you have a basic understanding of how not to put yourself at obvious risk, you're safer than you would be in a dark club surrounded by drunk men slithering all over you and trying to lure you to their cars. Meet somewhere public, let at least one person know where you're going, don't give out all of your info up front etc.

I have met some very nice, fun, wonderful men online, some of whom I am lucky enough to still be friends with, one of whom I'm lucky enough to still be happily dating years after our first online message.  I have also met some real assholes...liars, freaks, jerks etc.  In fact, some of my online dating stories are so incredibly bad that my friends love to have me tell them at parties for a good laugh.  However, I find this no different than the men I met prior to my foray into the online dating realm.  The fact is that dating isn't easy, no matter how you meet the person and each method will present its own perks and challenges, but just like with everything, if you stick with it, you will learn and your chances will improve.

So, my advice is simple...try it. There are a ton of different sites available to suit your needs, be it a free casual dating site, a site more geared towards older adults, ones for people of specific ethnic or religious backgrounds and ones meant just for casual sex.  Yes, it takes time and yes, it takes effort, but that's just the nature of the dating game, and if you don't play, you've already lost.