Noooooope!

Liz Lemon wrote a book about deal-breakers... these are my comparative list: things that are automatic turnoffs.  These are things that guys have either done to me, my friends, or I've heard of that have happened to others that cause me to simply think 'nooooope!'...

- When he talks about his ex on a date, especially a first date
- When he goes on a little bit too long about his mother
- Wearing beat up old shoes on a first date
- If he wears a big gold chain or more than one necklace
- If his car makes more noise than his stereo
- If his pants are either between his knees or tighter than my yoga pants....hell no.
- He is attached at the hip to his one deadbeat buddy
- When he eats like the Sarlaac
- He doesn't like your friends or discourages you from seeing them
- He spends more time getting ready to go out than 90% of women you know
- He drops the L word in less than 3 dates (love...not lesbian...that one's fine after 2 dates).
- The guys who don't' believe in giving a girl flowers
- He spends a lot of time talking up how (insert nationality) he is, but he doesn't speak the language and has never even been there.
- He can't do his own laundry
- Doesn't reply to texts...this applies to females also...people who don't respond need to be beaten
- He posts all over Facebook all the time about how much he loves you...because that's creepy and has the earmarks of a serial killer.
- He puts down his ex/exes a lot
- When every man on Church St knows his name....this may be a hint.
- He can name you every strip club in the city
- His idea of taking you out is going to Tim Hortons...this has happened to me more than once.
- He offers to pray for you.....run away
- Wearing so much cologne that I smell you before I see you
- He tells you that 'it's ok' that you 'aren't as hot' as his ex
- If he asks you to invest in his business within the first 1-3 dates
- He freaks out about commitment after 2 dates

There will most likely be more to follow as I seem to hear about more and more of these every time I talk to any other woman and as my past horrible dates come back to mind despite many years of therapy trying to forget them all.

What are your nooooope moments?