Do douchebags know that they're douchebags? It causes me pain to think that people cannot tell the difference between cool and douchy when it's staring them in the face wearing douchebag Raybans. I have listed some signs you may want to reflect upon and ask yourself if you are indeed, a douchebag...this applies to women too.
Signs you may be a douchebag:
- You pop your collar
- You genuinely use the word 'bro'
- You have ever played a guitar with your shirt off
- You wear a wool hat when it's 25 degrees out
- You tell every single person you meet that you're into vegan and/or gluten-free
- You wear sunglasses indoors
- You only drink Starbucks coffee
- You wear hipster sneakers but they're still in mint condition
- You drink to get drunk
- Your only topic of conversation is you.
- You're loud in public to try to seem like you're 'wild' and having fun
- You park in a handicapped space without needing it
- When hanging out with people, you spend the whole time on your phone
- You constantly cancel and flake on plans, especially at the last minute
- You're always into new 'cleanses'
- You post 'inspirational' crap online
- You post general 'I'm so thankful' or 'You are Awesome' on Facebook
- You don't BYOB
- You sign the card but didn't contribute for the gift
- You always have an excuse
- You can't laugh at yourself
- You act 'too cool' for anything and everything
- You didn't spray your cologne/perfume on so as much as you marinated in it
- You make everyone else change their plans to accommodate you
- You don't like animals
- You post online about your workouts
- You wear more gold jewelery than the Pharaohs of old
- Your car is almost as loud as the horrible music you're playing out of it
- You think being a 'nice guy' is lame
Ok, this is all I can think of for now...feel free to add your own...so many douchebags..so little time...so little Nerf bats to beat them with.
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