How many times a day do you not do something because it's considered 'socially unacceptable' behaviour? If you're anything like me, this can average in the hundreds on any given day...it can range in the thousands if it's a Monday. Some of these things, I can make my peace with why they cannot be allowed in every day society...such as pushing people into traffic, stabbing people in the eye and not wearing clothing whenever one feels like it. There are, however, some social conventions I wish would just magically become 'ok' in everyday society...no stigma, no awkward transition period of acceptance...just totally cool.
- Telling someone that yes, those pants do make you look fat.
- Telling loud talking/obnoxious people to shut the hell up
- Scratching your butt when it's really really itchy (I will admit, this one would have to have limits)
- Calling an asshole an asshole
- Telling a server/waitress that your order is messed up without having to feel guilty
- Not tipping the hairdresser who just butchered your head...because you know you do it.
- Telling someone that their baby is ugly, because frankly, I'm tired of 'liking' the picture of your gargoyle looking spawn just so as not to be rude.
- Shoving someone out of the way who got there after you but tries to enter the subway/bus/building first.
- Wearing sneakers with absolutely everything...because I'm not friends with heels...they hurt.
- Declining a wedding, party, shower etc simply because you just don't want to go.
- Having 10 cats
- Drinking a beer before noon...this is just silly
- Telling someone they have food in their teeth...because I'd want someone to tell me that I have a chicken wing dangling in my molar.
- Throwing a temper tantrum as an adult
- Wearing feety pyjamas to work
- Being rolled around in stroller as an adult when you're just that tired
- Pointing directly at people who are very obviously being a douchebag
- Unfriending people without it being 'a thing'
- Calling BS on people who say that they can relate to your situation but you know they're full of crap
- Yelling "Move It!" to people who are in the way
- Wearing a petticoat... because why the hell not
- Febreezing someone who sits next to you who smells awful
- Not having to pretend that the large amount of fast food that you're buying is for multiple people...just admit you're pigging out fellow oinkers!
- Drinking beer at work, because that's where I need one the most!
- Let's all stop pretending that we don't text while on the toilet
- High fiving strangers for being awesome- because sometimes I do actually want to do this (like the guy on the subway this morning with a kickass Bowie tshirt)
I'm sure if I applied more brain power I could add a million more to this list- so comment me yours :) In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy a socially acceptable beer in my bathtub while wearing a Pope costume and watching offensive videos.
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